It's been awhile...

I have been absent from my story for a bit.  The written story, anyway.  The story has still been with me and a few chapters have been added.  So, let's do some catching up...

My brain is still frayed!  I'm still giving myself a shot every other day, and I'm up to the full dose.  It's really not so bad.  The side affects have subsided, and I think the medicine actually warded off a relapse or 2.  But really, who knows?  Did I have a dizzy spell because of the lesions are because I had a head cold?  Or was it because my niece made me roll down the hill over and over?  The answer is similar to the question of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop....The world may never know.

I kinda got side tracked a few days after my last post.  Things were going pretty well, I was back to work and spent a nice weekend with my family and best friend.  When I got home Sunday afternoon, my door was unlocked.  Very, very strange.  I always lock my door.  I went inside and my couch was moved.  Surely the cats didn't get together and move it.  I walked to the kitchen....the back door window was broken and all the cabinets were opened.  I actually thought to myself, "Wow, that was a weird storm that blew through my house."  I blame my inability to see what had actually happened on the lesions.

When I went upstairs to my bedroom and found my bed overturned, every item from every drawer on the floor, I kinda figured it wasn't the cats or a storm.  I had become a side of the crime triangle...the victim of a burglary.  Well, this is zero good.

If I had written about this right after it happened, you would have read a lot of angry words, some boo-hooing, and why me's?  But none of that really does any good.  I was mad, I'm sure I cried, and I know I said, "Seriously?  Haven't I had enough of a bad year?"  But, getting back to my whole "glass 3/4ths full" thing, I will focus on the good parts.  I had a friend who dropped everything and came right over, took me to dinner and helped me cover my back door.  Other friends and family who helped me clean up.  And all of my cats were still in the house.  So, once I was able to not jump at every noise in my house or sneak through the house looking like Rambo (that's right, come on in while I'm home...), I got over it.  Still, 4 months later and I'm not sure I have everything back where it belongs!  Of course, I'm not sure everything was where it belonged in the first place.....

Fast forward to August....I'm not going to go into everything.  Frankly, it's still too raw to really talk about, but.... My dad had cancer and got a not so good report.  We dealt with it, got through that one. 

Then came September....Dad got a his calcium level a little whacked out.  Ok, a lot whacked out.  Ended up in the hospital.  To make a very fast happening story a little faster (just to get it over with), he died on 9/11.  He was a fire fighter so the day was appropriate and he did know how to make entrances and exits.

It was the worst thing ever.  Still is.  My glass has a bit of a leak in it.

Anyway, all this goes back to the question I asked earlier "Hasn't the year been bad enough?".  I will never ask that question again.  You get what you can deal with, and I suppose one day I will know why my 39th year had to be so bad.  One good thing that has come of it is that you are looking at 1 chick who will not complain about turning 40 next September!

So tomorrow, the snarkiness will come back because I have an appointment to the neurologist and he will tell me things like, "Oh, it's too early to tell still."  and "I'm not sure yet."  But honestly, it's ok.  I have learned a lot of lessons so far this year.  How to walk with a cane, how to give myself a shot, how to say good-bye.....

Hmmm, shots don't seem so bad anymore.  So, appreciate the people around you.  Let them know you love them.  Don't take anything for granted.  Things can change in a second.  Make sure you are ready.