Ahhh, Normalcy....

Well, it seems I'm finally back to "normal".  Finished my 5 days of steroids, and my week or so of using a cane.  I'm actually kind of glad I had my first real relapse.  Now all the mystique is gone and I don't have to worry about when it's going to hit me, or what it's going to feel like.  The one thing I was definitely not ready for, was the weird exhaustion.  I had maybe been a little more tired when I was first diagnosed, and I knew I needed to make sure I got my rest (you will get no arguing out of me when it comes to taking naps...) but this was a lot different.  I had trouble getting up my stairs to my bedroom.  I haven't had that happen yet.  Luckily it was the weekend and I spent time just resting.  By Monday, I was back at regular work with regular hours and, while I took a nap before dinner, I was almost back to my normal laziness.  By the end of the week, you wouldn't know anything was wrong with me except for the occasional stumbling, and then you would just think I was tipsy.

Then I had my follow-up with my neurologist.  He agreed that I am back to my pre-relapse self.  My walk is still off, but honestly, I'm not really expecting that to ever get back to normal.  I kind of thought we would stay the way things are, but he had other plans.  Since it's not even been a year since I was diagnosed, and I have been on Betaseron since June, and since every time i get a MRI, I come up with new lesions, my doctor thought I should consider something else.  Tysabri.  He told me some of the risks and I read about them also.  Going with what I know from him and what I read, I think, for me, the benefits outweigh the risks.  I can't keep getting new lesions and new symptoms.  I just can't.  If I do, my disability will most likely continue, which won't be good for me and my job, or just me personally.  As my bff, Renee (the mighty smart Microbiologist, who was able to read about the medicine and tell me what the big words meant) said, "Your brain is already being attacked...."  Um, thank you?

Tomorrow I meet with the infusion specialist and will get all the inside scoop.  Should be interesting, and I hope only mildly frightening.