After 5 days away, it was wonderful to be back in my own house. Just that made my mood 10 times better. My cats were afraid of my walker, though, and seemed not too happy that I deserted them for so long.
That whole story about me staying on 1 floor just was not going to work. I was going to sleep in my own bed and use the regular bathroom! Kat stayed with me for most of the day and offered to spend the night, and as much fun as a slumber party is, this was something I had to prove to myself that I could do. And I did. I slowly made my way up to my bedroom.
What a glorious night of sleep it was! Until 6AM when I stuck my arm out for my finger stick. Thank goodness is was a dream and I was able to go back to sleep.
I was going to try to get a few things done around my house. Cleaning, mainly. I didn't want to be embarrassed if people came over. And since I still couldn't drive, I was going to need some human contact. It's weird, the fatigue that comes with MS. I would be fine straightening up a few things then I would have to sit down. Now this is what I used to do when cleaning, but that was just because I felt like it! Now my body makes me.
I started thinking about my "plans" for this year. I had planned on being careful with my money so I could pay off some bills and do some renovations on my house. I wasn't going to take a lot of time off of work. I really wanted to be committed to all of this. And the thing I wanted more than anything was to get promoted to Specialist.
I'll tell you something....you may make plans, but God's plan for your life will always trump what you want. He knows best... I could almost hear him saying "Mary, Mary, Mary....Let's try my plan instead." What choice do I really have? I can learn to really, really trust him, or curl up in a fetal position and feel sorry for myself.
I'm going to have to go with the trust thing. Crying gives me a big headache, and let's face it, my brain has enough problems as it is.
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